The Mad Artist (Akemi/Open)

[rosa]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][style=background-color: #f7f7f7; height: 400px; width: 300px; -webkit-border-radius: 10px; -webkit-box-shadow: 1px 0px 5px #d4d4d4; margin-left: -120px; font-size:10px; line-height:13px; padding:8px; text-align:justify; color: #6d6d6d; padding: 20px; overflow: auto; text-transform: lowercase;]Rosa stood a fair distance away from the lifeless doll, fearful yet curious. She stayed because she wanted to know what exactly was going on. The curious part of her nature had taken over her rational side, but she still felt the two sides battling it out inside her head. It was like the mental battle the boy was having with the beast, except at an extremely smaller scale. A small breeze wafted by, causing her to feel relief in her burned shoulder, and she breathed in the smell of the forest deeply. Perhaps it would be the last time she’d ever experience the sensation of smelling the moist forest air, the feel of a cool breeze bringing you relief. The atmosphere was tense, and Rosa’s fists balled up as she awaited her fate. She’d either helped the boy awaken, or hadn’t and was in the process of committing suicide. She knew that the latter was a very viable possibility, so she hoped that her efforts weren’t in vain. The doll spoke to her, explaining to her that it was the in-between state. It was the state that occurred every time the boy and the beast were having a furious battle inside their own little mental world, and she was next to useless. She didn’t think that her little words of encouragement would do anything, and that both she and the boy, though Rosa more than the boy, were doomed in one way or another. Still, one could hope… Even though nothing visible was happening on the outside, Rosa was fairly certain that a savage battle was taking place on the interior of the shell, inside its mind. She was rooting for the boy, obviously, and she knew that complete faith was part of the art of cheering, but she still couldn’t help but think of what would happen if the beast won. If the beast did win, then that would be bad news for her. Rosa was in no condition for combat (actually, Rosa was never in condition for combat. She’s a White Mage; she supports the main fighters from the sidelines with her healing magic). She had a burnt shoulder that really caused her pain whenever she moved her arm, and she was still too tired to use a Cure spell to help it recover. If the beast woke up while Rosa was in the state that she was, then it would only spell out death for Rosa. Rosa felt something change, and her attention was once again captured by the still doll that sat peacefully on the grass. Rosa was just about ready to give anything (save a few things) to be in the doll’s position, just sitting in the grass, blissfully unaware of the danger that Rosa was in. She watched in complete awe as the doll began to change: his eye colour changed from grey to brown, his skin become much tanner, and his nails were no longer black. Was this the boy? Despite being ignorant of the situation that had unfolded in front of her, she gingerly took a step towards the boy, still extremely cautious and wary. He seemed like a different person altogether. He was definitely not the blood-thirsty beast that she had encountered in the beginning. She couldn’t feel any hostile intent coming from the boy; he was seemed much calmer and peaceable, though a bit weary. She was still a bit unsure, however, and remained at a distance, though still at a considerable distance. The young woman watched as the boy winced and turned away, as though he were in pain or upset. She silently gasped. Was he still in a battle with the beast? Was he in complete and full control of his body, or was Rosa still in danger of being killed by him? She trembled slightly at the thought, but she refused to run away. She was still painfully curious. Well, curiosity killed the cat, and Rosa was gambling quite a bit to stay in the area. Suddenly, the boy spoke. When the boy spoke, Rosa knew that it was him. It was the boy, the original owner of the body. Or… perhaps the beast was the original. At the moment, she wasn’t sure, but she would certainly be asking some questions as to what was going on. It was most certainly her business, seeing as he almost killed her. When the thought crossed through her mind, however, she immediately felt guilty. She knew very well that it wasn’t the boy’s fault. It probably wasn’t his fault that he had to share a body either, but again, she didn’t know this. The boy was asking her for her reasons. She was stumped for a bit. To be honest; she didn’t know why she stayed behind. In retrospect, the most logical course of action to take at the time was to run away, run far in the opposite direction and never look back. But Rosa hadn’t done that. She stayed behind. But why did she stay behind? She didn’t know how to answer him, and the air was filled with an uncomfortable silence for a minute. The grass rustled beneath her. In an attempt to make the situation a little less awkward, she moved a bit closer to the boy, assuring herself that he was safe, and she sat down in front of him about two meters away. She stared at the green grass, the gears in her mind turning as she tried to figure out what she was going to say. “Well… to be honest, I’m actually not quite sure,” she admitted, shaking her head. She chuckled, a soft-spoken giggle coming out of her nicely-shaped lips. She bit her lip, thinking of the lines that would roll off of her tongue next. “I think… well, first of all, I was worried about your well-being.” She turned to the boy, looking at him in the eyes. Being a caring woman was second-nature to Rosa, being both a White Mage and a mother. “When I confirmed that there were really two beings residing in one body, I was… worried about you, I suppose.” The situation was called for some tension breaking, but as usual, it was never there when one needed it. “I’m also… how should I say it..?” she paused, not wanting to pry, but still feeling curious and reassured by the fact that she was already involved in the whole matter. “I want to know why there are two… beings residing in one body. I want to know what happened.” Before the boy could say anything else, she quickly added, “I am involved.” Rosa realized that she was coming off as pushy, so she also said, “I know I might be coming off as rude, but… well, I’m just really curious. I apologize if this is causing you any discomfort.” There. Now she had an excuse, and had apologized beforehand. She sat there, tacit, expectant, and her curious levels were off the charts. *** cool downs esuna: a spell that removes abnormal or harmful status ailments from one target. ready to use teleport: a spell that moves the target someplace else in an instant, and can only be used once per turn/round. ready to use[/style][style=background-color: #f7f7f7;float: right; height: 370px; width: 100px; -webkit-border-radius: 0 10 10 0; -webkit-box-shadow: 1px 0px 5px #d4d4d4; padding: 10px; margin-right: -120px; margin-top: -400px; font-family: arial; font-size: 20px; color: #da2328; letter-spacing: -1px; ]notes I'm really liking Rosa right now. She's so... Rosa. (I made no sense just now.) count 1,166 tags Deshitana[/style]

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[Deleted]

(She is very sweet and I am glad you are enjoying her so much. ^^)

The battle was won, but it had taken its toll on Deshi in more than one way. He was exhausted and feeling guilty for what he had done, thinking that more than anything he should be punished in some fashion for allowing that beast within to run lose. He tried to hold the creature back, keep people from finding out his secret, becoming curious..and wanting to help him. Sure, he and Felix had a made a deal to help one another with their problems and sure Genesis might’ve known that something was indeed wrong with him, but outside of those two, the mercenary had done his best to let no one else see his other side. He knew the danger associated with it and in turn sought to keep people away; however, this young lady…she had unfortunately run into the beast when Deshi had no control of it and had been injured because of it.

He sighed inwardly wondering when the fighting and pain would end for him and the worlds. How long was he to remain with this split personality and without control? How long was it going to be before it drove him over the edge of no return? How long would he cause suffering? The questions floated within the man’s head as he remained sitting quietly where he was awaiting the answer to the question he had asked the woman, but expecting none.

As he stayed with head bowed in tiredness and defeat, he watched the grass sway and heard the natural sounds of the area, but the usual peace that came with hearing such sounds or enjoying the simplicity all around did not come to the boy, his mind too filled with guilt to find peace now. He could sense the woman still in the area, feel her fear and uncertainty and could understand her concerns even if they were not spoken out loud. After all, the Void had almost killed her and now his personality had changed dramatically. He would not be surprised if someone thought he was insane and in the end put him out of his misery for it. It would be an ironic and fitting end to what the Void had done. All those lives…there was no price high enough to pay for the innocence it…no he had taken from the world. He should be dead, but his will to live refused to let him die no matter how much his mind told him he should.

So here he remained stuck in a chaotic loop that he wished to hide from everyone, but in the end failed to keep secret…especially from the innocent ones... like this woman. She had done nothing to him to warrant such behavior and yet the Void could not resist his urge to make art and in turn attack others, leaving Deshi to bear the consequences.

“Infuratiating…” he muttered in a quiet voice to no one in particular, unable to hide his anger and agitation at what he was. After the words had been muttered, a silence fell between the pair as they each became lost in their own thoughts. Out of habit, the boy pushed himself back into a sitting position, shaking his head slightly before catching movement out of the corner of his eye. Looking up slightly, he saw the woman come closer and sit down a safe distance away. Deshi’s eyes narrowed in confusion not understanding why the woman would do such a thing after he had tried to kill her, but he did not question her actions. He didn’t need to, for a second later she spoke, answering his earlier question and explained without saying much why she was staying now.

To her first set of words he simply nodded, understanding that sometimes the reason behind something happening or being done was unknown. He could accept that easily enough. What he didn’t understand was her light chuckle and her next set of words. As she spoke, a slight frown of confusion crossed his face. She was worried about his well-being? How could that be so when she and he had just met…?

Rosa looked up at him, locking her gaze with his. While he searched for lies or trickery, he could find none in her gentle eyes. Her words were genuine...and for Deshi realization was the cause of a bit of discomfort. It wasn’t that he shunned being cared for or anything like that. It was just…all his life he had been told that he was loved or cared for by people that only said such words to use him. He had learned to shut down his emotions and become a wall when confronted by these situations, so actually finding someone that cared with no strings attached was a bit hard to comprehend and as a result, he could not really find any words to say. So instead, he held her gaze for a while before looking away, shifting slightly in his spot as he fiddled with the grass near him, trying to compose himself once more.

After a moment, he managed another nod at least accepting her answer as he continued to listen to her speak. When she started on the subject of himself and the Void, the discomfort only increased as a bit of the agitation from earlier returned. He figured the conversation would come to this and unlike other times, he could not play this off. Like Felix, she had met the Void and now she wanted to know the truth. Great…[/color]

While Deshi’s face remained clear of his emotions, the discomfort and tension brought up by the subject was present in the air. It hung like a smothering blanket over him and her and unfortunately there was nothing around to remove the cover. To make matters worse was the woman’s curiosity that followed. The part where he had to decide if he truly wanted to share with her his past and if so how much of it to reveal. After all…she was involved like she said and he supposed he did owe her the truth after nearly killing her. It was the least he could do, right?

Deshi didn’t answer her question right away and perhaps that is why she felt the need to apologize for her words. In response, he shook his head slightly.

“No…” Deshi began his voice carrying a bit of tiredness in it as he went from looking at the ground to looking back at the woman before him, his eyes meeting hers once more.

“You are not being rude. You have every right to know the truth. After all he did almost kill you, so I am not surprised by your curiosity,” he said with a sad smile and then became serious once more as he thought how to explain the issue to her. She seemed trust worthy enough he suppose he could shed a bit of light on the situation at hand.

“I am not quite sure what was done to me, but…when I decided not to kill, the one who owned me had something placed within me. Something that held that the mad man you met. The one simply called the Void, a mad artist of some sort that enjoys killing as much as he enjoys a well constructed piece of art. I’ve been working on ways to rid myself of him and understand exactly why he is like he is without success. Not many know my secret and I would prefer to keep it that way,” he said to her and then fell silent for a moment longer as he looked away from her once more. He began to rummage through one of the small pouches on his belt for a moment before finally finding what he was looking for and turning back to the girl with something grasped within his left hand.

Careful, so as not to appear hostile, he moved until his hand was before him. He hesitated only a moment before speaking again, not able to meet the woman’s eyes as spoke.

“I am sorry you had to meet the beast head on. If I could I would take it all back, but what is done cannot be undone, so…” he trailed off before holding out his hand towards her and opening the lightly clenched fist revealing a vial of healing medicine there.

“For the burn,” he said, his tone a bit strained, suggesting he was not use to doing this at all. In any case, the offer was made, so he gave her the option to accept or not, while his mind raced to figure out what to do or say in this situation that was quite awkward for the lone wolf….

[rosa]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][style=background-color: #f7f7f7; height: 400px; width: 300px; -webkit-border-radius: 10px; -webkit-box-shadow: 1px 0px 5px #d4d4d4; margin-left: -120px; font-size:10px; line-height:13px; padding:8px; text-align:justify; color: #6d6d6d; padding: 20px; overflow: auto; text-transform: lowercase;]It was almost like he was having another battle with himself, except that it was actually with himself, D vs. D, and not D vs. the beast. He seemed guilty, and Rosa couldn’t help but think that it was her fault. It was her fault for getting caught up in it and it was her fault for attempting to talk to the man, who seemed like a tranquil figure who enjoyed nature and flowers. She was probably right; the beast just expressed his passion for art and flowers in a… strange, unique sort of way. A way that cannot be expressed by normal humans, something that an actual human being isn’t able to comprehend… Still she wasn’t about to let herself get carried away with feeling sorry for the creature, because it had tried to kill Rosa. Still, a bit of guilt and remorse still made itself apparent in Rosa’s mind. All creatures had their own side to the story, and she felt that if she knew the Void’s side of the story, if she knew how he came to be, then she’d be able to feel a bit better. After all, a personality is compromised of one’s personal experiences. What if something horrible happened to this beast, something that it wasn’t able to handle, and thus succumbed to darkness? Rosa didn’t believe in things like pure evil. No human was born purely evil; someone or something had to mould them that way. But then it occurred to Rosa’s sympathetic mind that the beast wasn’t a human. A small murmur was brought to the attention of Rosa’s ears, and she instinctively leaned in so that she could hear what he would say. Much to her disappointment, it was just a small word, a small grunt. D was probably talking to himself. She went back to her previous position, calm, composed, and tacit, and she again patiently waited for a response, for some form of revelation. Her curiosity was beginning to thin, and she began to question herself. Was it really all right for her to just ask something like that out of the blue? Something like that is personal, and not many people would like everybody knowing about their darkest secrets. Rosa hadn’t experienced that feeling – the feeling of despair, of no hope, and she wasn’t able to put herself in D’s shoes. All she could think about it was that it was really bad, but really bad probably wasn’t even close to what D went through. She was helpless, and she hated being helpless. Unable to do anything as you just watched someone succumb to fear, evil, guilt, pain, or anything. It was worse than being tortured; it was torture. It was psychological torture, and in a way, that was worse than physical. She watched as D fiddled absently with the grass, looking quite uncomfortable and uneasy. It’s me, she thought. I’m the one doing this to him… But she wouldn’t let go, she refused to let go. The wind washed over her determined face, set in an expression of persistence, yet gentle and empathetic. Perhaps, if she knew, there might be a way to assist the boy. Any way was fine. She was already involved, so she might as well do the best she could. Blonde hair obstructed her view, and in one swift motion, they were back in place behind her ears. Her mainly white and beige garments rustled slightly in the wind. Rosa stayed almost completely still, seated in a somewhat uncomfortable, formal seating manner, traditional Japanese style. The atmosphere was extremely tense; it was hard for her to make even the slightest of movements. Rosa simply nodded at D’s reassurance, relief flooding her veins. She’d be able to get an answer from him, and she wasn’t being a bother. Or, she thought she wasn’t being a bother. Somewhere, deep inside her, there was something telling her that it would be better for her to just walk away, like how she should’ve walked away when she saw the man. She’d have saved herself a lot of grief and pain, like the burn on her shoulder. The femme’s eyes flicked towards the site of injury before glancing back at the boy, not wanting to dwell on it. When the boy finally began to speak, she leaned in, wanting to absorb every last detail that was going to come out of his mouth. She listened quietly to his somber tale, the fact that he was owned by somebody wounding her, the fact that they had put some evil being in him, called the Void, stirring vexation inside her. She found herself feeling melancholic as Rosa listened, the feeling somebody had when they realized that life wasn’t all pretty and pink. Harsh reality smacked her in the face: not everybody was as fortunate as her. The boy, D, was one of the unfortunate. “Of course,” she said, half reassuring, half consoling, almost pitying. “I won’t tell anybody – I promise.” This was the truth; Rosa was not one to go back on her word, especially when it concerned the history behind the enigmatic man known as D. He fell silent, and looking uncomfortable, he fiddled with his pouch, as if he were looking for something. Question marks were written all over Rosa’s face. What is he doing..? Rosa was surprised to see him tentatively reach for her, some sort of vial in hand. She looked at him with questioning eyes. The boy was feeling sorry, she understood that. Rosa wanted to help ease the boy’s sorrows. “No… I know it’s not your fault. It’s not our fault that you have to share your body with the… the Void.” She finished, her eyes gentle, her tone soothing, like a mother attempting to hush a baby into sleep. Rosa offered D a slight smile, a look of understanding in her eyes. “There’s no need for you to apologize. Really.” So… the vial was for the burn. D, the human D, was a sweet boy. She gently clasped her arms around D’s hands, retrieving the vial. “Thank you, D,” she thanked him, her peaceful expression genuine. She took her the vial with both hands and opened it up, the smell of herbs wafting out. She took some of the green medicine and smothered it all over her shoulder, relief flooding through her as it remedied the burn quite well. “This… it’s quite nice,” she sighed, closing the vial firmly and handing it back to D; or rather, placing it near his feet. She was feeling much more comfortable around him, much to her glee. “So… the Void called himself D. Is this your name as well, or do you have a different name as well?”[/style][style=background-color: #f7f7f7;float: right; height: 370px; width: 100px; -webkit-border-radius: 0 10 10 0; -webkit-box-shadow: 1px 0px 5px #d4d4d4; padding: 10px; margin-right: -120px; margin-top: -400px; font-family: arial; font-size: 20px; color: #da2328; letter-spacing: -1px; ]notes Here's the usual post. \o/ count 1,122 tags Deshitana[/style]

template by john of ote

[Deleted]

(Love it. ^^)

The air remained tense between the man and the woman for a few moments as Deshi slowly answered the questions the woman had asked. It was hard sharing his secret with others, but when he could not hide it thanks to said outsider experiencing the Void first hand, he managed to get the truth out…no matter how painful it was to face. He had told Felix some of the story, but not as much as he had told this woman; however, Felix didn’t have to contend with the Void right off the bat…just hints of it, so he had been safe in that regard.

Rosa, on the other hand, had been unsafe and injured in the process…and so Deshi felt he owed her what she asked of him. Besides…it was somehow easy to talk to this woman although he did not understand why. All his life he had been guarded from others, numb to his emotions and what others claim was care. He knew only pain and suffering within the arenas and outside of them isolation and insanity. He wanted to be free of it all, but at the same time didn’t want anyone involved in his battles, so he had taken to traveling and small work to keep himself distant and cold. He fought his war until he could not handle it alone anymore. So he brought in resources to help him like Felix; however, he wondered if that was a mistake. It certainly ticked off the Void and something within could not help, but to think that things would only get worse before they got better. A bit of foreshadowing for unknown future events, perhaps, but Deshi didn’t let those dark thoughts take any more form. He nipped them in the bud and focused instead on the woman before him.

Despite injuring her and nearly taking her life, the woman seemed to forgive despite her caution. She was genuinely interested in his dilemma and seemed only to want to help him out. Her kindness and innocence were disarming and frightening to one who knew such things as only tricks. She confused him, made him uncomfortable as he struggled to understand her motives while contending with guilt and remorse. And unfortunately for him, she was very perceptive of how he was feeling. Whether or not she had her own thoughts on what was happening within him, he could tell that his emotions were making her feel guilty and uncomfortable too. He wanted to hide it all, but he just…didn’t know how to anymore. It would be a while for him to compose himself, so he only prayed that perhaps he could mend what had happened a little. He didn’t know what he would say or what he might do, but the good thing about the situation was that the woman before him was understanding and at least promised to keep his secret.

When she said the words, Deshi had looked up at her expressionless as usual; however, his eyes told a different story. He wanted to believe her words and trust her, but the years of lies made that hard to do. It took him a full minute of searching her eyes for lies before he finally slowly nodded and accepted the promise as truth. After some more silence, it was his turn to apologize. When he did, the woman responded in a soothing tone that only made Deshi withdraw a bit more before relaxing. He guessed she was trying to help him, but his mind was having trouble wrapping around this sort of kindness. He had never experienced it before, so he didn’t know what to do. So to her comforting, he had remained silent before reaching into the pouch for the vial of healing liquid and in turn offering it to her.

He really didn’t know what to do. The situation was so unfamiliar that the usually calm and fearless warrior found himself at odds with the world and feeling like a little kid lost and alone. Half of him wanted her to stay, wanted her to help him, to be a guide while the other half wanted to destroy her and keep her away. The conflicting emotions were confusing and scary, making it hard for him to know how he would respond to anything coming his way. So when he offered the woman the vial of potion, it took all of his will power not to shake under the emotional stress assaulting him. When her hands clasped his, he jumped slightly and tensed sa bit at the contact, but then found himself relaxing a second later as he looked up at her his expression openly confused. He was really trying to understand this kindness and gentleness, but his mind simply could not get it. It made him a bit flustered and embarrassed he didn’t know what to do and that he was like this. When she thanked him a few seconds later, he nodded slightly at the words unable to find words to respond back with and then she was releasing his hand and opening the vial.

He let her use how much of the healing liquid that she needed, not expecting to get it back. When she mentioned it was nice, he nodded once more as he looked at the grass.

“The flowers and herbs of this forest…are useful for many things…” he said cautiously and then fell silent once more. As he continued to look down at the grass, he caught movement from the direction of the woman and smelled the scent of the healing medicine get closer. His eyes shifted slightly as he saw the woman place the half used vial next to his feet. Her courage and comfortableness around him increasing causing him to relax a bit and in turn the atmosphere around them began to lighten. He picked the vial up from the grass and returned it to the pouch. As he did this, he heard the woman ask about his name. To this, Deshi looked over at her as he shook his head.

“The Void calls itself many things, but nothing that is my name or its own,” he said and then giving her the first slight smile of his own since they met, he continued. “My name is Deshitana, but most call me Deshi for short. It is nice to meet you, Rosa.”

His tone was calmer now and the gentleness there genuine. He still didn’t know what to do next, but at least for now he was able to start over the introduction phase.