Ever since I was little I found myself a touch more scared of the unknown than my sister, who had this oblivious bliss built into her personality. Maybe she had been too young to understand, maybe I had been too imaginative to recognize the truth. But whatever I had seen that day was more truth than I ever wished to face. Maybe it was not my experiences in this life that built my personality, but something that had always been part of my soul.
We had lived on the beach for as long as I could remember. The soft wash of waves lapping onto the shores was our ♪
lullaby ♪. The days were bright and warm while the nights were cold and isolating. Our town was at the very edge of the ocean, a great wall guarding us from the open wilds and sight of the great scar that punctured a hole in the shell of our world. We had just been put to bed by mother. It was early spring, so Bodhum was filled with the sounds of singing insects and dancing imps who fancied stealing eggs from the gull nests. Serah and I slept together, as sisters our ages did. Though my sister was pacified by my presence, I still required a number of dolls to provide me with the emotional security needed to fend off the fears my childish mind often created.
Moogle dolls,
Carbuncle stuffies and even throw pillows stitched up resembling the faces of various breeds of cats, my favorite the spotted ones of course.
That night the
rains swallowed the
night skies. I could hear the imps outside chirping and rushing to shelter. Serah was clutched against me, the two of us in our night gowns. I could not help but cling tighter as the thunder clapped above and the lightning flashed across our window. Back then I was still little Eclair. I had no determination to be a soldier, or the strength to be a reaper. I was a little girl afraid of the dark. Or perhaps I was more afraid of what I could not see? I remember forcing my eyes open, the notion that closing my eyes would shield me from the horrors I could witness would be something I never grew out of. the belief that, maybe if I turn away it would no longer exist, is a selfish wish I held into my adulthood. Opening my eyes I would watch as a shadow was lit up on the back deck. Outside out window was a small deck where most of our toys sat out during the day. But mother brought them all in at night or during the rainstorms that frequented our seaside home. Nothing should be on that deck.
I felt my heart start to race, my small fingers digging into Serah’s shoulders. I heard her groan in annoyance.
“
Nee-chan… leggo, you’re hurting me.” Startled I released my terrified grip.
But in doing so I had looked down to make sure she was still asleep. It was no good to wake her due to my insecurities. And in that I lost sight of my original target. I quickly looked to the window only to see it
bouncing around outside. Another flash of lightning would paint the sky with a moment of morning’s light. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the shadow had been an Imp. It had taken shelter under the thin awning that hung over our deck. It had been a weight off my child-sized worries. I moved to lay back down and rest my face into the crook of Serah’s shoulder.
My eyes burned with tiredness, my day having been met with strange circumstance after another. Some of our toys had been missing from the deck, but we thought mother had tossed them, as we had a few broken ones in our possession. The left of my favorite boots were missing so I had to go with mother and Serah on the boardwalk with my sandals. We figured one of the stray cats had buried it, again. The strap, of course, snapped and I was carried back with crepes as our treats. It had been a weird day, but that is all in retrospect as an adult. As a child it was a great day with mom and Serah…
I had gotten worked up by the storm so lost my will to sleep. It did not help I could hear the Imps scratching around under the deck or the gulls roosting in our gutters. A cold chill snaked up my bare arm, which hung over Serah. Looking up again I could see, through another flash of lightning, the deck door was slid open. Now usually it was something not to be bothered with or mindful of during the day, but at night there was always the worry one of the nastier cats that roamed around at night would sneak in, or something worse. Mother usually closed it before we were tucked in. Getting up I made my way over to close it.
BAM!
“Ahhh!” I shrieked and slammed the glass door closed.
One of the nasty Imps had played a trick and hid, probably the one that opened the door, and jumped out at me when I came to close it. I really disliked Imps! But the whole situation had me running back to bed and burrowing under our quilts. Even on the beach the nights grew cold which always called for fluffy blankets!
“
Nee-chan?” I heard Serah mumble in a whiny tone.
I knew that if I woke her up she would cry and mother would shout at me for disturbing her. Serah was not happy being woken up at night with my problematic imagination. I was under the blankets where it was dark, but it did not really remedy the dark situation outside...
“Serah?” I reached out in the dark of the warm covers.
I felt her
cold fingertips graze my own as I finally pulled my head out, but Serah had rolled her back to me. Had I touched her fingers than or just her ponytail's clip? I pouted and scooted closer to her to keep warm and safe. I was wide awake now. Two scares in a row and I had already lost for the night. There was no sleeping for me.
“
Mao!” I could hear Spot in the living room crying out.
Spot was our cat, well our mom’s cat who occasionally babysat us. He was pretty old so sometimes had trouble getting back onto his bed (which was the couch) if he went to use his litter. Seeing as Serah was sound asleep and I was wide awake I decided to go help Spot. Our door was ajar so I wiggled my fingers between the crack and pulled open the door with care. The hinges gave a little squeak, but not much noise. I was in my onesie so my feet were spared the torment of cold, hardwood floors on a rainy spring night. The halls had a gentle glow to them, the reflective steel moulding catching the light of the large glass windows of the house. I shuffled toward the living area where I caught Spot mewling at the front door. Maybe it was because I was only ten at the time. Maybe it was because I was just me -- but I was compelled to approach Spot and look to the door.
The wood curtains were at half position, so it still let plenty of light in from the tavern next door. With all this rain and chill everyone was inside the tavern, the faint sounds of their voices carrying in -- in? It seemed the front door had come ajar. I suspected one of the Imps had done it again. They never came inside when they pulled pranks, the adults were too scary and kids were always their favorite to tease. I heard something collapse nearby and jumped. I hurried to push the door closed, reaching up to lock it. I saw something moving in the corner of my eyes. Slowly I peered to my left. I could see my reflection clearly on the glass window, as I stood tip toe, arm outstretched and hand touching to the brass lock. Beside me I could see Spot who had fluffed up from the scare.
But what was worse were the
red eyes I saw behind us both.
Slowly I turned to look behind me. Spot was looking right at it, his back arched and ears folded back in anger. The coffee pot had been knocked off the island counter and sent to the floor in parts, it had been the noise I had heard. It took a step forward...I grabbed Spot and ran back to Serah and my’s room. The hobble down the halls was hard in onesie socks on wood floors. Spot was old and heavy so it added a bit of effort on my part. I dropped Spot, who quickly escaped under our beds, before I slammed my door closed.
I stood there with my tiny arms pressed against the door, but I didn’t hear anything. Not even being chased by it! Looking back to my bed, where it was safe and warm, I looked toward the door.
Knock Knock
There was a soft rapping at the door that made me jump! I ran back to the bed and scurried under the covers. I tried to urge Serah to come hide with me, reaching out and tugging at her arms.
“
Stop nee-chan, I’m telling…” She complained.
I froze when I heard the door open. I pulled my hands over my ears to hide from everything as best I could. I was but a lump under the blankets. I then felt something touch to my back.
“
Eclair.” A voice called. "
Are you mad at me?” I knew that voice….
I pulled down the blankets and looked up. “Daddy?”
“
Hey sweetheart.” I was soon wrapped in the familiar arms of my father, a strong embrace as I was lifted out of bed. “
I missed you two so much.” I wanted to cry.
I was a little shaken up by everything, only to had been pulled out of it by my father. “Daddy, I thought you were a monster…” It was silly of me to think that a monster got into the house…
“
Oh no sweetheart. I was looking for a way in for a while.” He said. “
I tried the back, but it got closed, so I went to the front.” He laid me back down in bed and brushed my hair from my eyes.
I could see his smile and how bright it was, even in the darkness of our room. The rains had not stopped, if anything they intensified and became noisier.
“
You look just like your mother Eclair. My sweet, little cake. I have to go again, but make sure to take care of your mother okay? She isn’t doing well.” He brushed the back of his hand against my cheeks.
It was as
cold as the outside. I had nearly forgotten he was always so gentle, like I would break if he played too rough with us. Dad wasn’t expecting two girls after all.
“You’re leaving again?” It was not as if I did not love my father, but it was hard when he wasn’t home…
“
I know you are a little scared of storms, so I got this for you, so you can always stay strong. You can’t be afraid of the storm when you carry part of it with you.” He reached down to my nightstand and placed a silver necklace that had two gemstones in them. On further inspection the
strange necklace reminded me of a bolt of lightning. “
Sorry Eclair...I have to go. Take care of your sister okay? You’re a big sister after all.”
I smiled and nodded. “I promise daddy.”
It had been the last time I saw him. When I told Serah in the morning that dad made me promise to take care of her, she pouted at me, upset I didn’t wake her up if he had come over. I had tried!
“You’re impossible to wake up!” My words must have been louder than I thought because mother walked in.
“
Eclair Farron, were you the one running around last night?” She peered into the room.
I looked up to her and frowned. “I got scared and went to get Spot, then--” But my words were swallowed by a thick cough that escaped my mother’s chest.
“
It’s okay sweetie, just be nice to your sister.” She left the room.
It was not but five years later mother suddenly died. Whatever that cough was had been plaguing her for a long time. It had been like dad said, but I was young and stupid. I ignored it, or maybe did not want to face what I knew was going to happen… I never brought it up after, how dad visited us that day. To this day I wonder if it had been a memory, but I wear the necklace around my neck as proof he came home one last time.
He had died when I was about
five or
six. I had nearly forgotten his face, but I can’t forget the
promise I made to him. I would always take care of Serah, my little sister. I wasn’t afraid of storms anymore either, but I gained a strange new fear of
ghosts...
